History Rewritten – page 2

 

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Nothing gave the Harlem Hoaxers more satisfaction than draping themselves in sheets and watching whitey make an ass of himself.

Nothing gave the Harlem Hoaxers more satisfaction than draping themselves in sheets and watching whitey make an ass of himself.

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Heinz's 1946 new baby-food line, Beans and Boiled Cabbage Purée, proved short-lived.

Heinz’s 1946 new baby-food line, Beans and Boiled Cabbage Purée, proved short-lived.

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"Why do we play nothing but marching-band songs like 'The Sash' and 'The Billy Boys'? We wouldn't want anyone to think we've got catholic tastes."

“Why do we play nothing but marching-band songs like ‘The Sash’ and ‘The Billy Boys’? We wouldn’t want anyone to think we’ve got catholic tastes.”

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Hall of Mirrors, Versailles, 1871: " OK, all those in favour of Benidorm for the lads' night out..."

Hall of Mirrors, Versailles, 1871: ” OK, all those in favour of Benidorm for the lads’ night out…”

 

"We are NOT splitting it three ways - I didn't have any wine and the Sauerkraut cost way less than your Lobster Linguine."

“We are NOT splitting it three ways – I didn’t have any wine and the Sauerkraut cost way less than your Lobster Linguine.”

"A talking snake gave you it? Is that the same one who tried to sell us pet insurance yesterday?"

“A talking snake gave you it? Is that the same one who tried to sell us pet insurance last week?”

The Health and Safety Inspector was not at all impressed by working practices at Vulcan's Forge.

The Health and Safety Inspector was not at all impressed by working practices at Vulcan’s Forge.

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Spare-hat carrier for the quality folk was a much-coveted job during the Great Depression.

Spare-hat carrier to the quality folk was a much-coveted job during the Great Depression.

…...

The youngest ever contestants on "Vatican City's Got Talent" create a sensation with their risqué boy-band performance.

The youngest ever contestants on “Vatican City’s Got Talent” create a sensation with their risqué boy-band performance.

..

Some of the earlier Gardeners World programmes were a little over-dramatised.

Some of the earlier Gardeners World programmes were a little over-dramatised.

"The gold, myrrh and frankincense were nice, but this plutonium stuff the fourth guy gave the baby is brilliant..."

“The gold, myrrh and frankincense were nice, but this plutonium stuff the fourth guy gave the bairn is brilliant…”

Matabeleland 1893: The Reverend Simpkin's mission to bring Jesus to the Ndebele people encounters unexpectedly enthusiastic theological opposition.

Matabeleland 1893: The Reverend Simpkin’s mission to bring Jesus to the Ndebele people encounters unexpectedly enthusiastic theological opposition.

 

After a few unfortunate mishaps, 19th century interactive zoos started to become less popular.

After a few unfortunate mishaps, 19th century interactive zoos started to become less popular.

 

Russia 1812: "... and the forecast for tomorrow in the Berezina area is snow showers, so wrap up well."

Russia 1812: “… and the forecast for tomorrow in the Berezina area is snow showers, so wrap up well.”

 

President Ford and Leonid Brezhnev, 1974 SALT Conference: "So, Gerry, nobody voted for you, nobody voted for me and here we are deciding the fate of the world - isn't politics great?"

President Ford and Leonid Brezhnev, 1974 SALT Conference: “So, Gerry, nobody voted for you, nobody voted for me and here we are deciding the fate of the world – isn’t politics great?”

 

No one dared tell Kim Jong Il that the "Do-Jem" gifted by Mao was not the advanced stealth fighter he believed it to be.

No one dared tell Kim Jong Il that the “Do-Jem” gifted by Mao was not the advanced stealth fighter he believed it to be.

 

Undue influence was suspected when Grigory Rasputin was chosen by every single entrant in a1915 episode of Blind Date.

Undue influence was suspected when Grigory Rasputin was chosen by every single entrant in a 1915 episode of Blind Date.

 

The Bullingdon Club’s AGM was always a boisterous affair.

The Bullingdon Club’s AGM was always a boisterous affair.

 

"Gone to a better place" - Hell, hopefully.

“Gone to a better place” – Hell, hopefully.

 

Combined HQ 1916. Combined IQ 191.6

Combined HQ 1916. Combined IQ 191.6

 

"Organisers claim that 5,000 were present for the miracle at Bethsaida, but the BBC and police put the number at 600..."

“Organisers claim that 5,000 were present for the miracle at Bethsaida, but the BBC and police put the number at 600…”

 

1938 – The Austrian “Besser Zusammen” campaign celebrate the benefits of a small nation being part of a larger one with more influence on the international stage.

Austria 1938: The  “Besser Zusammen” campaign celebrates the benefits of a small nation being part of a larger one with more influence on the international stage.

 

The "Better Together" campaign have been advised to tone down their negative portrayal of how Scotland will look after a YES vote in the independence referendum.

The “Better Together” campaign have been advised to tone down their negative portrayal of how Scotland will look after a YES vote in the independence referendum.

 

Sabine Wanderers v AFC Sabina was always a difficult day for the local womenfolk.

 

"Yes, the gentleman from 'Loaded' magazine wanted my opinion on the fashion impact of leather jackets among socialists..."

“Yes, the gentleman from ‘Loaded’ magazine wanted my opinion on the fashion impact of leather jackets among socialists…”

 

Queues lengthen at Benefit Offices as curbs on non-UK residents begin to take effect.

 

Trump Tower of Triumph rises above the World Heritage Site at Herculaneum and is a tribute to the good taste, sensitivity and modesty of its patron.

 

The Fuhrer and his team reflect grimly on their poor showing in placing 6th in the 1927 Pan-Germanic Morris Dancing Championships held at Bad Judenhasse.

 

Soviet educational poster demonstrating the withering away of bourgeois facial hair under socialism.

 

The Worst Deal in History?

 

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